KHR - The Vongola Famiglia Is A Gay Fest
by kunaineck
Summary: Pretty much EVERYBODY in the Vongola Famiglia is in a gay relationship. Tsuna realizes this and tells Mukuro. Then something unexpected happens just outside their room.


**Pairing(s) in order of appearance:** Mukuro/Tsuna = 6927

Ryohei/Lussuria = 3364

Dino/Hibari = D18

Yamamoto/Gokudera = 8059

Spanner/Shoichi = 485

Belphegor/Fran = B26

Xanxus/Squalo = 1036 or 1029

Ken/Chikusa = 1449

Chrome/I-Pin = 96I-Pin

Reborn/Lambo = RL

**Author's Note(s):** This WAS wholly intended to be a humorous little one-shot...But I'm genuinely thinking about expanding on the stories of some of the relationships here.

THE ONES IN QUESTION: Ryohei/Lussuria(which needs more love in general)

Spanner/Shoichi(which ALSO needs more love in general, but their story would probably only end up being about their subsequent date because I don't write NEARLY enough fluff)

Belphegor/Fran(Flustered!Bel getting constantly ambushed by Fran because said frog is 'hungry'...I want to write that. Yes. Yes, I do.)

Ken/Chikusa(Angry-Bent-Over-Table-Sex. Mmmm, yes.)

REBORN/LAMBO(Because MMMMMMM, yes! OTP! Right here! My favourite KHR pairing right here.)

**Summary:** Pretty much EVERYBODY in the Vongola Famiglia is in a gay relationship. Tsuna realizes this and tells Mukuro. Then something unexpected happens just outside their room.

* * *

As Tsuna lay in bed, cuddling into Mukuro's chest, a thought occured to him. He wasn't sure just why the thought had only occured to him NOW, but it had.

"You're thinking to hard, babe." Tsuna blushed at the nickname, punching the other man in the arm. He didn't even wince.

"Mukuro?" He looked up at the man, giving him puppy dog eyes.

"Yeees~?" The man sang.

"Is everyone in the famiglia gay?" Mukuro blinked, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Er...Mukuro?" For the first time ever, the man seemed truly baffled. Until he adopted a thoughtful look on his face.

"Hm...That...Is a good question." The two were silent for a moment, both lost in thought as they tried to figure out which one of them WEREN'T in a gay relationship.

"Reborn." They said at the same time. Last time anybody had checked, he was back to dating Bianchi. But that still left the question of: how had the Vongola Famiglia gotten so full of gays? Obviously, it wasn't a problem for them, seeing as they were in a homosexual relationship themselves, but it was something to think about.

To everyone's genuine surprise, Lussuria had gotten together with Ryohei before anyone else had even gotten a clue. Ryohei was such an oblivious guy, when they found out that HE had been the one to pursue LUSSURIA, well, it was a surreal moment.

After that, Dino had gotten ideas. Hibari had lasted a month before he broke down.

Mukuro had caught sight of them and Tsuna had been walking by while he was staring.

Gokudera had run to help his jyuudaime and Yamamoto had had to keep him at bay. The silver-haired man had snapped and attacked the baseball nut. Somewhere along the line it had degraded into sex.

The next day, Spanner had come up from the basement to greet Shoichi and had, upon noticing the three naked couples in the hallway tried turning the other man away. When the redhead had barged his way past him and saw the sleeping men he had calmly turned to Spanner, crossed his arms and said, "Really? HIBARI had sex with Dino before WE even got a DATE? Really?" with a raised eyebrow.

The next day, an aggravated Belphegor had come to collect Lussuria, as he had been neglecting his duties in favour of Ryohei. As he had been dragging the okama away, he had been muttering under his breath. Something about stupid frogs that needed to learn the prince couldn't 'get hard' on demand just because said frog was 'hungry'. Apparently this had been going on for a week.

Lussuria had returned one week later, fresh from a successful mission, and cheerfully told everyone that Xanxus had caught Fran sucking Bel off in a hallway. He had summarily turned around, grabbed a thoroughly confused Squalo by the collar and dragged him to his office. They left two days later.

Soon after that, despite Gokudera's intense refusal to let such a thing happen, Mukuro moved in to live with Tsuna. He brought Ken, Chikusa, and Chrome with him. Once the four of them had moved into the Vongola HQ, Tsuna held a meeting in which even the Varia and Mukuro's group joined in on. While the meeting was going on, the latest Varia member- who had replaced Levi after he had...passed away due to despair at the news that Xanxus was in a relationship with Squalo -had decided to sit next to Chikusa. He had spent more time flirting with the bespectacled man than paying attention to the meeting. When Tsuna of all people had dryly suggested that they get a room, Chikusa shrugged and ATTEMPTED to drag the man away in order to do just that. Ken had quickly mauled the man to death before bending a frozen-in-shock Chikusa over the table. He hadn't even waited for the others to finish fleeing the room before he ripped off the other man's pants.

The only ones left at this point were Reborn, Lambo, I-Pin, and Chrome. Until the Chinese girl had been confessed to by a nervous Chrome while she was at work. I-Pin had, according to Ken and Chikusa- who had been with the mist guardian -apparently took one look at the shy young woman before agreeing. Even Tsuna had to admit that they were fucking ADORABLE together.

Reborn had been seen with Bianchi a lot recently, so it was a pretty safe bet that they were back together.

So all that was left, currently, was Lambo. And he had been acting strangely. So much so that even SPANNER had made a remark about it. Everyone figured it was because he had been shot down by somebody after asking for a date or something like that.

THUMP!

Tsuna sat up in bed, followed quickly by Mukuro.

THUMP!

The sound of talking filled the air. Muffled voices were steadily being raised during an argument.

SMACK!

"Go to Hell! I don't need that shit from you!"

"Be quiet, Ahoushi!"

"Like Hell I will! I don't need YOU of all people pitying me! So fuck off, Reborn!"

"That wasn't pity! I meant what I said!"

"That's bullshit and you know it! I know you can't stand me! And don't mess around with people's emotions!"

"Do you REALLY think that lowly of me!?"

"I didn't until just now!"

"And here I thought you loved me!"

SMACK!

"You BASTARD! How DARE you! I know you think that if you 'just give in' and sleep with me that I'll 'get over it' because I'm just a 'hormone-riddled teenager' but I'm not! I-!"

Tsuna bit his lip and glanced up at Mukuro, silently questioning him on whether or not they should check the suddenly silent duo. The illusionist frowned, looked down at him, and nodded. Just as they had stood up from the bed, Lambo's scream pierced the air. By the time they made it into the hallway, the teen and Reborn were missing.

The two were found three days later by one of the teams looking for them. The team, which consisted of Gokudera, Yamamoto, and Bianchi, had been searching an older part of the Vongola HQ that was in disuse. The other teams reached them after following Bianchi's angry screaming as the two males were restraining her. She may have known that Lambo and Romeo were two different people at this point, but she now had a whole new reason to hate the teen.

The hitman didn't care enough to acknowledge anybody else and Lambo was too busy crying out, "I believe! I believe! Reborn, I believe! Just stop! Stop it! PLEASE!" to notice what was going on.

It had been their twenty-fifth round in the past three days.

**END.**


End file.
